How many times have you heard someone running at the mouth, and it was all about them? “I did this” and “I did that.” The moment you begin talking about something they can relate to, they interrupt you mid-sentence to tell you how it was part of their life.
Do not be like them. If you are going to converse with people, as we do every day in different ways, make it meaningful and purposeful and have a goal.
The goal of every communication should be, again, toward balance, harmony, peace, tranquility and joy. If you have something terrible to say to someone, seek a way to say it in such a fashion that it does not raise their defenses because as soon as you say something aggressive or harsh or attacking to an individual, they will stop listening. Their defenses will be raised and they will turn a deaf ear to what you are saying, and they will wait for an opportunity to strike back. They will begin forming their words and their attack. They know how to retaliate.
If there is one thing to be said for human beings, it is that we seek to find the weakness in others. We are more than likely trained to do that out of a defensive posture than we are to seek the positive in another.
Be a light unto all who see you. Seek to find the positive. Seek to understand and find ways to communicate that do not raise defenses. Find a positive way to speak about the negative so that everything you do has the glow of a good and positive life.